Slow Down

I've realized that I'm a busy body and I have a really hard time slowing down... Even when my body is screaming at me to stop. Today I took a 45 minute nap while Preston slept and I'm taking the time to just sit :) Usually my day goes like this lately:

• Go to bed between 10-11 pm
• Wake up 1-2x to nurse P-Town usually at 2/3 am and again at 5/6 am
• Wake up anywhere from 5-6:30 am with Violet (she's been getting up earlier than usual lately)
• Feed V breakfast, play with her quietly, and get her ready until Preston wakes up
• Nurse Preston and get him ready at around 8 am
• Take V to daycare (unless we have a play date scheduled)
• Between nursing Preston and his naps I usually do at least 2 loads of laundry, dishes, prep and cook dinner, tidy up the house (toys, counters, dust a little - I'm definitely an anti clutter neat freak), and any other odds and ends that I have on my to-do list.
• When Matt gets home in time he helps with dinner and baths, otherwise I feed and bathe both kiddos and get them both ready for bed by 6:30/7 pm
• Then at 7/8 I nurse and put Preston down for the night (Matt always help put ptown down - every 3 days he also gives Preston a bottle)
• Then from 8-10/11 Matt and I spend time together

Most often by the end of the day I'm so exhausted I can't stay awake, but am too tired to fall asleep! I typically get between 5-6 hrs of sleep per night (my body likes 7.5-8) AND let's not forget to mention the back logged hours I've lost since before Preston was born. I really cherish the time that Matt and I get in the evenings and am excited for Preston to get old enough for us to sleep train him... He has to be at least 4 months and 16 lbs (the latter of which he's already hit!). Then Matt and I will reclaim our late evenings and I will reclaim my continuous sleep at night :)

I love my beautiful, amazing, healthy, and spirited children, but I sometimes look back at Matt and my 'single-married' life with googley eyes :) In this crazy adventure with kiddos, the only thing I seem to miss is the time Matt and I have together just as a couple. With family far away, the times we get together are our late evenings or the occasional date night when our babysitter is in town from college. I wouldn't trade any of this for the world, but I'd be lying if I didn't say I dream of the day when our little ones are old enough for Matt and I to have our adventures again :) 

Until then, I'm trying to learn the art of enjoying the little moments and slowing down and taking time to myself. As most moms do, it's come to my attention lately that the person I never think of OR think of last is myself... Case in point: I often feed everyone else, but forget to eat myself... I bathe and get everyone else ready for bed and often stall showering because I'm too tired... I make sure everyone else has their special 'play/alone' time, but forget to schedule in my own de-stress moments and outings... All of which add up to an exhausted mommy. Even when I'm tired I often think of all the things I could be or SHOULD be doing instead of taking a nap or resting my feet, even if it's only for 20 minutes (those 20 minutes could mean a lot of laundry folding, cleaning, or food prep). BUT, as Matt reminds me... I can't take care of our babies until I take care of myself. Like when you're on an airplane and you're supposed to secure your own oxygen mask before securing your children's masks. It's pretty much a life metaphor right? If your body and mind aren't right, you can't care for others... So put your dang oxygen mask on :)